


am i pretty?

by heymoons



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Porn, Camboy Dan, Eventual Smut, Fluff, M/M, Praise Kink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-10-13
Packaged: 2018-07-24 15:59:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7514432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heymoons/pseuds/heymoons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan is an intern at the BBC who moonlights as a cam model. He’s worried about being judged for his secret, until he meets Phil and everything changes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by in part by a great camboy!Dan vine and my love for all things camboy au related! I had been wanting to write this for a while and my lovely beta finally inspired me to get off my ass and do it. This is the first fic I’ve ever published and the first one I’ve written that I’ve actually been serious about, so I welcome any and all feedback! I really hope you enjoy it!

_BEEP, BEEP, BEEP._

 

Dan’s alarm clock yelled at him incessantly. He rolled over and checked his phone, and seeing (to his disappointment) that the glowing screen read 7:15 AM, he reluctantly got up to start getting ready for work.

 

Dan had recently taken an intern job at the BBC, mainly to fill his days when he wasn’t taking university classes. He was starting to wonder if this had been such a good idea as his days were already fairly full with university classes and his night job. Still, shrugged to himself and realized that if he ever wanted an actual career at the BBC, he had to start _somewhere_.

 

As he stumbled out of bed in a sleepy haze, Dan glanced around his room. The boy realized that he’d forgotten to put away his cam setup and toys from the previous night. Oops. It could wait until he got home from work. After all, it’s not like he had a roommate to worry about.

 

Living on his own had its advantages in these situations. For example, he didn’t have to worry about a roommate stumbling into an inevitably awkward situation of Dan having to explain that he was a cam model. As he went through his morning routine, he imagined the possible scenarios that could happen because of his laziness.

  
Truthfully, he wished he did have a roommate at times, mostly to save money on rent. But Dan couldn’t risk anyone finding out about his nightly occupation, no matter how open-minded this hypothetical roommate might be. He was already paranoid that someone from work could discover him, therefore ruining the reputation he had made for himself as the quiet and obedient new intern. While inaccurate to his rather brash personality, it worked for him and left him unbothered by any nosy coworkers.

 

Shivering as he tried not to think about someone finding out about his night job, Dan walked out of his house, bracing himself for the daily commute.

 

\---

 

Dan arrived at the office, exchanging “hi-how-are-yous” with his coworkers. To be honest, he couldn’t remember most of their names. He didn’t really talk to very many of them past work conversations and small talk. It was hard to keep track of everyone, and names escaped him worse than faces did. His job as a whole was fine though, which was more than he could say for the stress his university courses could bring.

 

As Dan continued walking, he nearly bumped into someone, stopping in his tracks as he realized he’d forgotten to do something important. He muttered an apology and walked hastily down the hallway.

 

“ _Shit_ , the coffee.” Dan said under his breath as he remembered that his boss was interviewing people for a new radio host position today, and because the interviewees were going to be there soon, Dan had to go out and get them coffee. His boss had even texted him the specifics of the orders to have on hand when they arrived. Oh, the glamorous life of an intern. Dan began to wish that he had gotten there a bit earlier so he would have had more time. He hoped that one day this new job would teach him the importance of not procrastinating, but today was not that day. Thankfully, the nearest Starbucks was no more than a five-minute walk. Trying to discreetly dash out of the building, Dan pulled out his phone to find the list of drink orders sent to him from his boss.

 

Lucky for Dan, the morning rush was just slowing down when he went into the coffee shop and hurriedly placed the orders. Upon returning, Dan saw his boss through the glass doors interviewing a black haired boy who had his back towards him.

 

Dan took a deep breath, and mentally prepared himself. He always felt awkward interrupting interviews like this even though it was his job. He walked through the doors and smiled at his boss and the man being interviewed as he handed them their coffee.

 

The younger boy thinks that he heard his boss gave a thanks his way, but he was focused somewhere else entirely. More specifically, the smiling blue eyes that looked up at him, making Dan space out momentarily before snapping back into consciousness.

 

 “Thank you!”, the man exclaimed, his voice kind and cheerful, but with a Northern lilt to it.

 

Dan blinked, feeling like a deer in the headlights, and muttered an awkward and rushed “Yeah! I mean, of course, you’re welcome…”, his voicing trailing off as he quickly walked out of the office towards his own desk, feeling extremely flustered.

 

\---

 

Phil was exhausted.

 

Well, the word “exhausted” sounded a bit too severe for his tastes, but there was a certain slowness in his body that made him feel like he had been drained of his life force a bit. He wasn’t going to collapse any minute, but he felt like he needed a nap or _something_ so that he wouldn’t feel so tired.

 

He carelessly tossed his bag and his keys on the table and fell on the sofa, letting out a loud “UGGGHHHH” noise. Phil honestly wasn’t sure how well that interview had gone, it had all passed by in sort of a blur. He always felt like he was kind of on auto-pilot during interviews, just trying to give the right answers and not succumb to his nerves, but today was especially bad as he had been even more distracted than usual.

 

Phil’s tired mind struggled to remember exactly _why_ he had been so distracted, when suddenly remembered the cute, albeit awkward, intern that had brought him coffee before the interview. He smiled to himself and wondered if the boy was always that flustered or if something had happened to him that day to make him react like that. Even when he was borderline exhausted, Phil’s overactive imagination was always curious about what made people tick, even strangers. He never meant to be nosy, he was just an incredibly curious person. Phil loved this phenomenon of being acutely aware that everyone has a story so much that he had even looked it up on Tumblr once to see if there was a word for it. He came across this definition:

 

“ **sonder**

  1. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.”



 

Something about him made Phil want to be something more than just an extra in the awkward intern boy’s life.

 

\---

 

As cheesy as it sounds, Dan hadn’t stopped thinking about the guy with the pretty eyes all day. He hated feeling so cliché when he saw cute boys, but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t _want_ to keep thinking about him, after all he didn’t even know his name. Besides, Dan really couldn’t think about relationships right now. His last relationship ended because his girlfriend became increasingly uncomfortable with the fact that he did cam shows and the tension between them ended up being too much for either of them to handle. He couldn’t relive _that_ mess.

 

Dan groaned as a reaction to his own silly thoughts as he glanced at the clock on his phone. 7:15 PM, it read. Time for him to start getting ready for his nightly cam show. Sometimes weekday shows like this could be a little slow and vanilla for Dan’s taste, but at least it might distract him from thinking embarrassing and cringe-worthy thoughts about the blue-eyed man from earlier that morning.

 

\---

 

The sun shone in Phil’s eyes the next morning as he awoke, realizing that he had fallen asleep not in his own bed, but on the sofa in the living room while watching _Death Parade._ Damn, now he’d have to watch that episode again later as he barely remembered the plot. He shrugged to himself and began to get ready for the day. His plans for the day included lunch with his friend and fellow YouTuber, PJ. Phil always had a great time with PJ, the other boy was so creative and talented and Phil enjoyed brainstorming and talking about life with him.

 

Phil began to hear the melody of an 8-bit version of _Hotline Bling_ playing in the distance, his ringtone. He rushed to his phone and answered with a cheery “hello!”. “Hey friendo!”, PJ’s voice responded from the other end, causing Phil to giggle a little at PJ’s use of the word “friendo”. “What’s up?”, Phil replied. “I was just curious if you would be okay if I brought a friend to lunch with us today?”, answered PJ. “I know these lunch dates are usually kind of _our_ thing, but my friend from uni didn’t have lunch plans so I thought maybe you might be okay with it.”, he explained. Phil didn’t have a problem with this at all, he had met a few of PJ’s friends and he got along well with all of them. “That’s totally fine! See you soon!”, Phil replied. PJ responded with a quick “Thanks so much, see ya!”, before hanging up. Phil continued to get ready, curious about who PJ would bring with him.

 

\---

 

PJ turned to Dan with a grin and said, “Okay, we’re all set! My friend is super cool, I promise!”. Dan didn’t doubt it, after all, everyone that PJ hung out with was cool. However, Dan was still insecure about his awkward tendencies that came out when he met new people. But he had no plans for the day and didn’t want to just sit at home waiting around before his cam show, so he just smiled back at PJ and gave him a thumbs-up.

 

\---

 

As PJ and Dan approached the café, Dan admired the aesthetic of the place. Lots of windows, wood floors, and plants everywhere. The calm colors and the sight of people laughing inside calmed the natural panicking that rose to the surface whenever he knew he was about to meet someone new.

 

Upon entering, Dan was a little bit lost in the coziness of the place when he heard, “Hey PJ, over here! I got us a table!” Dan’s head turned quickly to his left after hearing a slight Northern accent.

 

Kind smile. Blue eyes. Black hair.

 

There was no doubt in Dan’s mind that this was the cute guy that he’d brought coffee to the previous morning.

 

“Well”, Dan thought to himself, “here come the nerves again.”.  



	2. Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan is an intern at the BBC who moonlights as a cam model. He’s worried about being judged for his secret, until he meets Phil and everything changes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, sorry about the late update! I'm super excited about this fic and I wanna update it more often but tfw job and life lmao. I'll try to upload more consistently though! Anyway, thanks again to my rad beta and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Dan stood in the middle of the adorable café, watching dumbfounded as PJ waved to Phil and took a seat next to him.

 

Was this actually happening? He couldn’t believe that the cute boy from the BBC was friends with PJ and he was about to have lunch with him. It felt too much like something from a shitty romcom to actually be happening right now.

 

“ _Daaaan_ ,” PJ called from the table, “Are you coming?”

 

Right, okay, this was real. Dan walked over to his friend and Phil, attempting to collect his thoughts and not look like a _complete_ nerd at the same time, but it proved to be a difficult task.

 

“Oh, hello!” Phil said cheerfully as Dan sat down next to him.

 

Dan _tried_ to say something breezy like a, “Hi, how’s it going?” but in reality what came out of his mouth was much more garbled and incoherent. PJ looked from Dan to Phil, clearly confused. He gestured to both of them with his pointer finger.

 

“Oh, do you two…?” he questioned.

 

“Yes! Well, not really, he brought me coffee at my BBC interview yesterday,” Phil answered easily.

 

Turning back to Dan, the older man laughed and asked, “So, I’m guessing your name is Dan?”

 

Dan could feel his face heat up and hoped no one else noticed, his stomach twisting from nerves. Why did his name sound so _nice_ when this guy said it?

 

“It is. And you are…?” Dan looked at PJ, waiting for him to introduce the two boys. He seemed engrossed in the menu, but looked up when he felt Dan’s eyes possibly boring into him.

 

“Oh! Right, sorry, I was _really_ into these sandwiches on the menu. Dan, this is Phil, my YouTuber friend. Phil, this is Dan, my Uni friend.” He paused, letting them exchange greetings.

 

“Well,” he continued, “now that we all know each other’s names, we can finally get some food!”

 

Dan and Phil laughed, amused by their friend’s excitement, and proceeded to order.

 

\---

 

Lunch time flew by, the three boys laughing and joking like they had known each other for years. At one point, PJ excused himself to the bathroom, leaving Dan and Phil sitting alone, still laughing at a story PJ had just told.

 

“PJ’s so funny, I wish I could make witty on-the-spot jokes like he can,” said Dan.

 

“Hey, I’m sure you’re pretty funny yourself!”, Phil responded. _Goddammit_ , thought Dan, _could he stop being ridiculously charming for five seconds?_

 

“Have you ever thought about doing YouTube like PJ?”, Phil asked. Dan laughed to himself because, yes, he _had_ thought about doing YouTube. Unfortunately, he became interested in YouTube after he had already started his career as a cam model and the two weren’t exactly… compatible. After all, how would it look if this big YouTube star was discovered touching himself on camera? Safe to say, not good at all. And Dan wasn’t very comfortable with talking about being a cam model on YouTube, so it was one or the other, and truthfully, he loved his modeling job.

 

But Phil was a stranger who did not need to know about all of that, so Dan just said “Nah, I don’t think I’m cut out for it. I think it’s a super cool career to have though!”

 

Dan cringed at himself. “Super cool”? No, not dorky at _all_.

 

But Phil nodded, ever the nice person, to show that he was listening. “I get that! It’s definitely not a conventional job, but I love it. If I wasn’t a YouTuber, I’d want to be a weatherman, but at this point in my life, YouTube is much more exciting,” Phil said with a smile.

Dan laughed in response. “A weatherman? That’s… interesting,” he settled on.

 

Phil let out a small laugh as well. “What can I say, I’m just not cut out for traditional jobs, I guess!” he exclaimed.

 

They both joked about it for bit longer, and then there was silence. It was a comfortable silence. Dan liked talking to Phil, and he liked being able to make him laugh. He wanted to ask for the man’s number but he felt strange about it, since it was their first official time meeting. What if Phil didn’t want to give it to him? What if he also thought it was weird? Oh god, what if Phil thought he was a dork, and what if-  


“Dan?”  


Dan was pulled out of the whirlpool of his thoughts by Phil’s voice, clearly asking a question that Dan had completely missed.

 

“Oh! Uh, yes?” Dan asked.

 

“Oh,  I was just wondering if you wanted to exchange numbers? You seem…really cool! and I’d love to get to know you more,” Phil said, almost nervously. Dan’s stomach flipped at the thought that Phil actually wanted to know more about him, and also at the fact that Phil could be feeling as nervous as he was. Holy shit.

 

“Yes, sure, definitely!” Dan said in his excitement, quickly typing his number into Phil’s phone and handing his over so Phil could do the same. He tried to not seem eager but ultimately failed. They switched phones back, brushing hands together a bit awkwardly, just as PJ returned.

 

“Dan, you ready? I think class is going to start soon,” PJ asked while glancing at his watch. While Dan really didn’t _want_ to leave the nice conversation he had been having with Phil, he knew he needed to head to class.  

 

“Yeah, I’m ready!” Dan responded as he stood.

 

Phil stood as well, moved to give PJ a friendly hug. He then turned to Dan and said, “I had fun talking to you, Dan! Text me sometime?”

 

Dan’s brain promptly short circuited.

 

“Of course!” he responded, again sounding a bit too eager, but seemingly not in the mood to care anymore.

 

God, he _definitely_ owed PJ for inviting him to this lunch.

  
\---


	3. Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan is an intern at the BBC who moonlights as a cam model. He’s worried about being judged for his secret, until he meets Phil and everything changes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen...I don't really have any excuses for this late update, haha. Just procrastination and good ol' insecurities about my own writing! But I'm glad I just sat down and did it because I think this is my favorite chapter so far! Sometime this week I'll talk to my lovely beta and come up with a consistent upload schedule because Lord knows I love routines. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

It had been a few weeks since Dan had met Phil and PJ for lunch at the charming café.

 

A few week of texts that Dan over-thought when he was alone, of silly snapchats to each other with the dog filter (Phil’s favorite), and of Dan hoping that Phil would ask him out, while being terrified for when he did. Dan really liked Phil, but he was still painfully aware that what he did for a living wasn’t really accepted by the general public.

 

He almost wished Phil already knew who he was from his cam work. Maybe he did? No, Phil didn’t seem like the type to watch camboys. If he ever watched porn at all, he probably watched tamer, more vanilla content on generic porn sites.

 

Dan was sitting on his sofa, deep in thought about his frustrating situation, when heard his phone buzz next to him. Even before he checked it, he was hoping it was Phil. He giggled a little bit when he saw that it was. God, he felt like a giddy schoolboy when he so much as thought about him.   _How pathetic_ , Dan thought to himself.

 

He unlocked his phone and began to read Phil’s text:  
  
“Hey Dan! :)”  
  


Dan laughed to himself at Phil’s un-ironic use of emojis as he responded. How cute.

 

“hey there, how’re u?”

  
“I’m pretty good! Work has kind of been kicking my ass though. I could really stand to do something fun. Would you wanna go to that café again? I know you liked the music there and I love all the plants they have!”  
  


Dan nearly threw his phone across the room. Holy shit. Was Phil asking him out again? Dan knew this is what everything had been leading up to, and he honestly did want to say yes. But something inside him told him that saying yes to going out with Phil was saying yes to opening up about his job.

 

He knew that was a silly thought to have, Phil was kind and gentle and wouldn’t force him to talk about anything until he was ready, but Dan was still scared of the idea.

 

He looked at the clock on his phone and noticed the time. 8:55pm. Fuck, he had a cam show to do in 5 minutes. Phil (and his own emotions) were just going to have to wait.

 

\----

 

An hour. It had been an hour since Phil had texted Dan about meeting up at the café. Normally Phil wasn’t one to worry about people he was interested in not texting back right away, but radio silence from Dan for an hour wasn’t like him.

 

Did Dan not like him? Was it too soon to ask the boy out? Even if said boy was pretty. _Really_ pretty. God, Phil had honestly been thinking _way_ too much about the younger boy. He often found himself daydreaming of them hanging out, and going on dates. Occasionally, he’ll admit, he did like to think of what Dan looked like doing certain... _activities_ and--

 

_Wow_ , okay, he should really stop. Dan had sent him cute shirtless snapchats, but he still felt kind of creepy for imagining him in situations like that when they’d only known each other for barely a month.

 

But of course, thanks to that train of thought, Phil really needed to... _release_ some of that tension, as it were. He decided to open up his computer and browse for some porn. Because hey, even if he felt weird thinking of Dan in those situations, seeing a stranger in them was no problem.

 

He went to his favorite porn site and had every intention of just watching one of his go-to videos, when he noticed an advert in the corner that he’d never seen before.

 

It said something about “emo brunette twinks,” and, while corny in description, damn if that wasn’t Phil’s _exact_ type. A bit more inspection revealed that it was in reference to a camboy site and he felt… conflicted. He normally felt like those sites were a violation of privacy, in an odd way, but truthfully? He was curious.

 

After an internal battle between his libido and his conscious, to no one’s surprise, his libido won and he clicked on the site.

 

And dear lord, what kind of heaven had he just stumbled upon and why the _hell_ had he avoided it for so long? On the main screen were tons of .gif thumbnails of cute boys, some just winking and smiling and others doing more questionable things, but each was more pretty than the last. He scrolled for a few minutes, slightly hating himself but also very excited about what he could potentially see here.

 

He scrolled all the way down to the bottom of the page and laughed to himself because, hey, that boy kind of looked like Dan. Well, if Dan were wearing a collar and making a face of intense pleasure.

 

Phil thought back to the earlier battle between his sex drive and morals and, well, his sex drive hadn’t led him astray so far. What was the harm in clicking on a guy who _looked_ like Dan?

 

He opened the chat room to hear a “ding!” signifying his arrival. He didn’t have an account on this website so to whoever was behind that loading screen, he was just “guest08692”. He took a deep breath as the screen loaded. And suddenly, everything was happening at once.

Cute giggly voice. Soft brown eyes. Hairless and lanky body.

 

“Oh my fucking _god_ ,” Phil breathed out loud as he came to the realization that he had _definitely_ just entered Dan’s chat room. Before he could see any more, the older man slammed his laptop shut in a panic, face red and eyes wide.

 

He had just been hoping to find someone who resembled Dan, he never intended on finding _actual_ Dan Howell on a camboy site. What was he supposed to do now? He had just asked this boy out after only knowing him for a few weeks and now he’d already seen him naked and wearing a collar. Well, that explained why Dan had been M.I.A for an hour.

 

After that little freak-out, Phil was a bit shaken up, so he had decided to play some video games to take his mind off what he had just seen. He was in the middle of an intense level of _Mario Kart_ on his 3DS, when his phone buzzed. He paused the game and unlocked his phone.

 

It was a text from Dan.

 

“hey sorry about the late response! i had to run some errands”

 

Phil snorted. _Errands._ Is that what the kids were calling it these days? He congratulated himself on his witty joke and continued to read the text from Dan.

 

“but yeah that sounds fun, how about tomorrow?”

  
Phil groaned slightly to himself, rubbing at his face. What the hell was he going to do?


End file.
